I wanna wake up
With your weight by my side
And I wanna think that
You look good as you rise
And I wanna turn to you
Turn around by your side
And I wanna think
But not to say
Let me face
Hurricanes

so this is what you meant when you said that you hated yourself
so this is how you feel when you tell me you're well
I feel a perfect pain, I'm happy that it rains
cuz nobody would notice me cry in a hurricane
I'm coming home but you won't know me and I won't know you
the streets will feel so different, like they're lonely too
I guess it happens for a reason, let it all work out
but every step I'm taking forward puts me further in doubt
of what I'll be tomorrow, this homegrown intoned rhapsody
stole this flow back to this soul, from two thousand and four
it's so easy to be better than me
sometimes it feels like music is just adamantly
pushing me to the limits, the Guinness, a minutes visit to illness
I'm feeling the pressure of realization to pill less, feel less,
my expectations for myself are way too high
and so I disappoint myself and then get way too high
I remember when I was twelve years old
I posted pictures of a hanging, captioned "let me go"
the school asked me to talk to the counselors, they put me in therapy
but never once did I feel there was somebody there for me
i thought I was destined to be alone, that was reality
i was already sorry for whoever counted me
a person to trust in the future,
all my lovers and friends and everyone who got too close to me were supposed to be
family
but they ended in tears
I shut myself away from everything because I had fears
that I would hurt everybody I touched, fuck it, I'm here
but now i can't feel shit, feel shit
I wish that I could cry
I wish that I could smile
I wish that I could feel a fucking thing when you look me in my eyes
now I know the whole story's snow cones and broke bones
heartache from heartbreak in dark days
I remember feeling nothing when I (censored)
and I remember throwing up into the sink
and I had no one in my life who would say to me that everything's okay
so I said it to myself
fucking hell, yeah, I remember
when i was losing all my friends
cuz a friend of mine tried to bring their life to an end
every single fucking person in my life wanted to leave me cuz they thought that my depression was the danger
i would say to myself
I almost killed a person
just because of who I am
fuck, who gives a damn?
I mean nothing to the world
all this shit would still occur the same
I would rather face a hundred thousand hurricanes

Let me face
The sound and fury
Let me face
Hurricanes