I love you I miss you I can't wait to kiss you I'm sorry I'm so far away I hate you, I hate this Don't know why I chased this I'm sorry I'm so far away So far away

I step out the shower, my feet are still wet The ground is my dirty regret I don't want to step on the ground with my feet Cuz now they are finally clean You say it's fine Face your fears Face them now You say you can wipe them but then my towel would be dirty You say it's almost over Just step out the shower Into the cold But I am in my underwear I fear that I'll freeze If I leave the comfort of heat In the shower Say that the ground of the bathroom is wet I can't put my pants on cuz my feet are still wet Say that the soles of your feet are all wet You can't put ur pants on, can't put your pants on I put on my shoes in the bathroom to take a piss don't know what my mommy and daddy would make of this I'm scared to admit that I'm dreading the shower experience now And I'm scared to admit that I might need a therapist My fear of the ground in the bathroom is similar to what I feel when I fear confrontation with people a little bit But eventually I gotta step on the ground with my bare feet to reach for my towel and finally will me to deal with it When everything seems wrong, usually there's an easy way you can solve it To paraphrase things long, you just gotta step outside without falling You can wash the towel clean afterward acknowledge things in the afterword You know you want some laughter first Conversations always could be better versed It's thirty degrees You dirtied your feet Your hands on your knees Don't get flirty with me It's thirty degrees You dirtied your feet Your purse ain't no Gucci Stop flirting with me It's thirty degrees It's thirty fucking degrees and I'm in my underwear Fuck

i’m out here with a bathroom cleaner than what I had before here the ground is dry, the shower’s fine, and everything seems better but there’s something that i’m missing from this floor i guess with home and somewhere else, it’s either or being away from my family, i’ve had to look for myself being away from my friends, i feel i’ve lost my good health my mind is falling apart, i feel a hole in my heart and sometimes i feel like i just got nobody to tell it’s not like home is perfect or anything, i fight with my friends i have these traumatizing memories still stuck in my head it’s like the bathroom in my dorm, shit gets wetter than wet but every time i return, i feel less lonely again i guess it’s good that i can put my pants on comfortably in this hotel room, out some place that i can never be seen i feel forgotten in this new foreign life but maybe it’s not worth remembering kai and so i lost me in this late november rain and you forgot me you forgot our love and pain i live through phone calls my face is fading from your brain i’m in my bath stall i only wash myself and pray i hope you’re happy let's pretend that I never left let's be friends that never forget what's here in my heart is a meaningful longing I wish I could regain this sense of belonging and now this toilets unfamiliar the showerheads peculiar not like the one at home is better; but I've never cried here before sometimes life will pull you onwards and you're not able to stop I feel like time is feeling somber, pulling faster just to block out the emotion (yeah, yeah) I want to block out the emotion (yeah, yeah) I squeeze my hand to see if I feel it the grounds not dirty, I don't have to deal with it nothing means much anymore I can step on this bathroom floor something feels like I won't ever get to see you the same when I look in the mirror, I've ceased to know my own face and so i lost me in this late november rain and you forgot me you forgot our love and pain i live through phone calls my face is fading from your brain i’m in my bath stall i only wash myself and pray you said you lost me in this late November rain I said I'm sorry and then you saw me cry again i live through phone calls don't have reception in this place I'm in my bath stall I only wash myself and pray i hope you’re happy and so I lost me in this late November rain I said I'm sorry and then you saw me cry again if you forgot me something easy to forget let's get some coffee let's pretend we never met

oh you can feel it inside your conscience oh you can see it when you go out there in the world oh you can feel it uh oh call it parliamentary with a side of golden smoke gather all your people and we eating artichoke do we care about our citizens do we care about the globe? i don’t know, i don’t know falling for your eyes, i got somewhere to be i got picture perfect Saturdays coming to me i’ll be cruising down the avenue at seventy three had that number on my back since 2016 i might be losing myself i might be speeding too fast i might be ninety nine percent insignificant fact but then this music is my memory this is how you should remember me well i suppose that i could make a little difference in your life in the end it doesn’t matter till i see what’s after mine say to death i have a message for him tell him that i want to be surprised say I want her say I want her

they say to reach for the stars and just follow your hearts and that's somewhere to start, just believe who you are maybe I'm overreacting or overly acting like nothing is gone side by side we'll work it out, now night by night light by light the stars come out now is anyone out there? it doesn't really even matter where the time goes I guess things just seem better with my eyes closed I feel important only for a split second, then forgotten like those broken animations on slideshows and some nights I wish I slipped into a comatose some nights I'm passing out in my formal clothes drown three melatonins in a Spanish drink well that's two too much, that's an overdose (over dos) we don't see the same streets since I moved out here we don't see the same sun, same blue cloud tears when you say goodnight and fall asleep I know your pretty eyes are closing drowsily but still the sky's blue out here everything changed, we live in different worlds now it's been forever since I heard you say my name when we played pool, in my head, that's a whirl now remember the stars we're under stay the same so when you look up at the thousand shining lights know I'll try to find the same ones too we keep holding on through the same stars as for blankets, they're the same ones soon for a minute, i can see your face in front of me saying everything will be alright and when you disappear, know my mind was blundering I wish you could stay here all night we all different, we don’t know what the difference is we don’t need to wear stars to tell the differences we don’t need discrimination of our images we all living happy endings in our villages we’ll all be the same stars in our cinema skies shining bright through the glass, what a crystally night we’ll all be the same stars to the innocent eye we all got the same superhero in us and I I wanna tell you bout a story that you’re finishing where the confidence inside you is diminishing you got a monster deep inside, you gotta kill and shit before the thought can finish you, you gotta finish it look, I promise that you'll get stronger decide if West or Clarkson I need you to get the czech/check, mate I dine with Magnus Carlsen They drive me up into the city now But I can't wait for Carmen To someone out there, you're a star now You'll never get more Martian they say to reach for the stars and just follow your hearts and that's somewhere to start, just believe who you are maybe I'm overreacting or overly acting like nothing is gone side by side we'll work it out, now night by night we’ll work it out, now light by light the stars come out now is anyone out there? is anyone out there?

so what? i can’t be heaven for you that’s just the truth you said let it go, i’ll be right here beside you yeah lost in the world can’t let you go i find myself dreaming of blues in bohemia yeah i feel you slipping away from my life but i can’t imagine me alone, yeah, yeah, yeah so come here and dance with me slow, yeah, yeah, yeah cuz you are the best of me, my destiny don't push me out of here, I'll rest in peace in love with a ghost, yeah, yeah, yeah here in your soul for you, I'd do anything, just call my name I wish we were stuck in time, to be the same don't fade away, yeah, yeah, yeah don't be afraid, yeah, yeah, yeah but I still love you i feel you slipping away from my life but i can’t imagine me alone, yeah, yeah, yeah so come here and dance with me slow, yeah, yeah, yeah cuz you are the best of me, my destiny don't push me out of here, I'll rest in peace in love with a ghost, yeah, yeah, yeah here in your soul afraid I'll forever be in misery afraid I'll be nothing but a figurine a figure I broke, yeah, yeah, yeah in love with a ghost, yeah, yeah, yeah but you'd never notice me, this side of me why can't I stop hurting, both you and me? cuz you let me go, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, you let this go, yeah, yeah, yeah and you’d never dance with me, i’m ugly i’m just too selfishly consumed by me cuz i can’t let go, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, i can’t let go, yeah, yeah, yeah but I still love you

do you ever feel like you're disappearing do you ever wish you could go back in time before all this happened before I was gone and i’ve let go for so long when I reach back, you’ll be gone before all this happened if I never left you would I be coming home to your smile again so tell me it's okay tell me it's okay tell me it's okay yeah and i wish love can be my friend I wish I could love myself so I can wait a little longer hold on to me could I be forever? I don't want to hurt you but I don't want to die before I see you again I miss my reflection I'm losing my mind and i feel a little lonely even with friends now I'm coming home but I don't even recognize your face where did all my memories go? I don't know if I know this empty place it's almost over almost now do you ever feel like you're disappearing? do you ever wish you could go back in time before all this happened before I was gone did you ever wish you could see me again? and I've let go for so long when I get back you'll be gone before all this happened if I never left you would I be coming home to your smile again? it's almost over I’m scared to talk to myself I feel a little anxious facing myself I think I’m paranoid anyway I’m sorry for any pain I caused it's almost over it's over

BK: like don’t try to leverage the actual, like don’t try to use it Alex: That’s a transformer Matt: No, no, no, no, no, you don’t even know where the fucking transformer is Alex: *pointing at the drawing of a phone* it’s right there, he’s holding the transfor- Matt: what the fuck is this pencil? what the fuck, is this yours? BK: it’s a, it’s a brush, that’s my brush Matt: *to Alex* what the fuck get it out of your hand, it’s BK’s. BK’s kinda like straight up fuckin’, he’s got six fuckin pens in this, you know how hard he’s going fucking draw? And you think he thi- that’s clearly not a transformer. He knows what the fuck he’s doing. Alex: It’s from Transformers 3, the best Transformers. Matt: Um, none of the Transformers are the best Transformers, they all fucking suck. Fucking Shia LaBeouf was the fucking highlight and he still sucks in those movies, come on, now. Alex: Shia LaBOOF BK: That’s true Asher: Fucking talkin’ about dude? What is he talking about? Matt: She thinks it’s a fucking transformer bro, it’s a dude with a fucking stereo on his head, with a *unintelligible* inside that bitch BK: I have no idea what’s going on right now. Matt is not even speaking English anymore. Asher: that is, that is true. Matt: It’s not a transformer dude, not, not a transformer whatsoever. Don’t laugh, it’s just straight up stereos. Alex: Where’s the original transformer, can you, can you go back to that? Matt: It’s not a transformer. Asher: No, that’s not a transformer. Matt: How can it be an original transformer- Alex: *to BK* Can you flip, can you flip- Matt: Nah, don’t make him flip, he’s fucking drawing. Alex: BK, please. BK: I don’t think it’s in this sketchbook. Alex: Oh right, it’s in the other one, it’s in the other one. He actually has drawn transformers before. Matt: Nah, but you brought, um… BK: *to Alex* No wait, you have it. Alex: Yeah. Matt: Can I be straight up? Can I be straight up? That’s just not a Transformer. Alex: No, yeah, it is. Matt: No, it’s a, it’s a dude with a stereo on his head. That’s not a Transformer. Alex: No, the phone’s the Transformer, Matt. Matt: Nah, it’s not. BK: I’m surrounded by insane people. Matt: Because even though, like, in one of the fuckin’ Transformers movies, maybe for like two scenes, there’s a fucking Transformer phone, doesn’t mean that every fucking person holding a phone is a Transformer. Alex: Yes it does! Matt: Here, hold this phone. Alex: *holds phone* Matt: *pointing to Alex* This bitch a Transformer!

I wanna wake up With your weight by my side And I wanna think that You look good as you rise And I wanna turn to you Turn around by your side And I wanna think But not to say Let me face Hurricanes so this is what you meant when you said that you hated yourself so this is how you feel when you tell me you're well I feel a perfect pain, I'm happy that it rains cuz nobody would notice me cry in a hurricane I'm coming home but you won't know me and I won't know you the streets will feel so different, like they're lonely too I guess it happens for a reason, let it all work out but every step I'm taking forward puts me further in doubt of what I'll be tomorrow, this homegrown intoned rhapsody stole this flow back to this soul, from two thousand and four it's so easy to be better than me sometimes it feels like music is just adamantly pushing me to the limits, the Guinness, a minutes visit to illness I'm feeling the pressure of realization to pill less, feel less, my expectations for myself are way too high and so I disappoint myself and then get way too high I remember when I was twelve years old I posted pictures of a hanging, captioned "let me go" the school asked me to talk to the counselors, they put me in therapy but never once did I feel there was somebody there for me i thought I was destined to be alone, that was reality i was already sorry for whoever counted me a person to trust in the future, all my lovers and friends and everyone who got too close to me were supposed to be family but they ended in tears I shut myself away from everything because I had fears that I would hurt everybody I touched, fuck it, I'm here but now i can't feel shit, feel shit I wish that I could cry I wish that I could smile I wish that I could feel a fucking thing when you look me in my eyes now I know the whole story's snow cones and broke bones heartache from heartbreak in dark days I remember feeling nothing when I (censored) and I remember throwing up into the sink and I had no one in my life who would say to me that everything's okay so I said it to myself fucking hell, yeah, I remember when i was losing all my friends cuz a friend of mine tried to bring their life to an end every single fucking person in my life wanted to leave me cuz they thought that my depression was the danger i would say to myself I almost killed a person just because of who I am fuck, who gives a damn? I mean nothing to the world all this shit would still occur the same I would rather face a hundred thousand hurricanes Let me face The sound and fury Let me face Hurricanes

I'm such a husky bro, I love it Your pride don't even show, McLovin Why my visa come so slow Think I should have gone to London But I pulled up in the metro Or the tram, man I don't know nothing And you know we hit legenda have some water have some soda service all over the schengen cuz I got my plan from voda I just got this from northeastern ooh, rough what's the time I forgot to do the survey ooh, rough I can't fly I'm such a husky bro When the first time they asked you if you want sparklin or still Why they tryna act like we were drinkin sparklin water fore we came out here I'm such a husky b-- I'm a bit rough, I like a quick ruff (ruff) I'm a bit rough, I like a quick ruff I like my six bucks to buy you a sick tux cuz everything cheap here, but just a bit suss How you start to study? The wifi slipped up I'm a bit rough, I'm in the ISIC I like the discounts I think it's quite sick To Rome or Leipzig? I'm indecisive All I know now is Prague is dumlit

last year, some people came in somebody damn found a way in I don't let people in my heart I don't let people see what I do in the dark yeah, you might think I'm dirty yeah, you might think I'm so damn fine but the truth is no matter how much they get used to it they will always try to leave me behind no love, living bad, little sad, little mad, thinking that really my pilly stash isn't enough, fifty gram, in a cup, dinner had no taste to my numb lips this a fun vacay to my tongue twists rip me up like a party in the carribean all I wanna say is sorry I'm aware of being being trampled every day when the kids come back hearing all the complaints that the kids done had telling people I'm as dirty as a motherfucker I ain't want this reputation now you motherfucker I ain't asked to be stepped on with dirty shoes I ain't never ask for crying and your winter blues get your shit together, people leave me, people leave you some don't even wash hands after all the shit they do ain't no progress in Prague residentia I forget ya seems I got dementia I can sense ya got me an apology say it to my face I'm a prodigy, follow me yall ain't see the other side of me look at what I show, what I am: dichotomy hope my parents can be proud of me brain fucked up need an ice pick lobotomy this ain't the part of me you wanna see, lot of me walk the streets thinking I'll never be what I wanna be shout out to my colony, yall a G, college people gotta be pained to inflict pain onto me honestly, am I that hard to love? am I such a bad person people run away from? never had a single hitta wanna love me people wanna get close fore they cut me I can't trust a single fucking person coming close to me I know that I've been blocking people out, it's not supposed to be a way to push you far away or anything, I wish that you would stay a little longer, but I get afraid of totally letting yall in, that's why I be looking nasty spazzing so much that my voice getting raspy yall know nothing bout the door, bout no wet floors i be dripping 24/7, yall can get more i was made to cater to disabled persons that’s the reason i got nothing but a shower curtain i could say that i done had the fucking best intentions bitches they be fucking tweakin just to stop to mention how much they hate me, i’m just a project, i don’t know how to lock shit, hear them say i’m catastrophic, rap god, supersonic, coming for you, logic, this the type of place you sit just to start shit i’m picking it, we gonna dick it, indicative diggin in ticketing, villain eventually winning it will he be really epitome of an epiphany? who is the enemy? enemy better be better me, meta vendetta key, lemon amphetamines eminem enemies, and ‘em anemones fuckin amenities where the fuckin soap at? where the fuckin toilet paper at? where the coat rack? kamikaze, where the wafer snacks? where the seven dollar cheetos and eleven dollar pivos dobry den, motherfucker, where the spatna bitches at Hittin Epic four times in a fortnight (Fortnite) haven't even slept forty minutes in the four nights, taking four flights, I'll be forthright: you a sore sight when you cast away the little of your foresight I don't blame your short sight, I am on the short side but the knowledge in my mind cancels out my short height cuz the more right isn't more right, they just more white I open the news, you open a porn site yeah, fine me, I know you finna me and my mind, we got a difference in us me and your kind, we got a difference in US we polarize the nation, ain't no winner this ain't a hill we gotta climb with Jonah I may be a fucking bathroom but I got persona no one ever wanna love me I got Corona look, we got some bank so we could both be loners/loaners look, I ain't tryna flex, I just wanna know why I can never keep a person close to me in my life people always wanna come when my floor is still dry but they get it all wet, now we saying goodbyes people only come to me when they in need and when I am the one in need they turn their backs around and leave me in a snap yeah I know you say it says more about them than me but it happens so often soon enough I start to snap yeah I wonder what's wrong with me

sun is down, freezin cold that’s how we already know, winter’s here my dawg would probably do it for a louis belt that’s just all he know he don’t know nothing else i tried to show em, yeah i tried to show em, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah dotted focus like a stick and poke one to ten, this a zero tho woo, made this here with none of that ice on in the booth fucking humble here, no flexin on what type of shoes twelve shot kids, but all the victims do the shoot got your chick outside, but she still brag about the coupe/coop none of this shit ever new to me i don’t need no one to to tutor me you ain’t a project i want to complete but you act like you’ll ever be due to me typical ain’t ever suited me guess i just got an immunity young bitches on sicko mode, well i don’t need none of your lunacy say you pulled up in the ghost, are you talking cars or writers? say you got the pussy, is that lack of courage or vaginas? they train you hard but you still somehow the caboose meet/meat me here when you can show me you produce (someone said) to win the retreat, you all in too deep p-p-playing for keeps, i’ll play you for weeks to win the retreat, you all in too deep p-p-playing for keeps, i’ll play you for weeks well, haters always say to me i’m not a fucking rapper to em i be on a motherfucking beat, i beat a bag into em men and everybody got a motherfucking swagger to em monochromic, can i find a p-p-p-p-pattern to em anyway, (yee) playlist “P”, i’m on my way to find the Q/queue you ate (A) my eel (E) you gotta take an IOU light up the crowd you better scooch (scoot) how you saying goodbye? you better choose/tschuss told her hop in, you coming too why you feeling depressed? the skies are blue gotta stay sad, gotta take that, gotta pay back, what you paid that for the Xanax, for the face tat, now you made that, now you fake that, now you baked af; fake hap base camp, no higher than normal, that’s the truth music like my shoelaces, playing loops yeah that’s fruity enough, now where’s the juice? got my juice in a cup, now where’s the food? someone said shawty facetimed me out the blue someone said pl-playing for keeps someone said, motherfucker—someone said i’ll play you for weeks yeah ay, ay fuck it, i never could be in love thinking i never could be enough somebody say that you sleeping on me but i can’t sleep without smoking tree enough looking for answers cuz i couldn’t act on accord/Accord if i don’t have my key in em Would Khaled still be in the spotlight if he didn’t have LED in him? Out like a light, ay, yeah, like a light sound like shite, had a flight, made a right, cut the lights, so what? Jesus Christ, ain’t no meaning to the lines please believe me I see RiRi, imma eat it like panini fucking all sounds the same, that’s what they like check in with me, stay for the night don’t mind the name, just listen to the rhyme, burning up the stage, fuck it, drop the mic

Have yourself a merry little Christmas Let your heart be light From now on, your troubles will be out of sight Until the skies are darkened The lights will never shine Wish me a Merry Christmas Snow falls and I will die Santa, help me bleed to death I can't escape this broken head I think our minds are there to kill us Wish me luck and Merry Christmas So take me now Merry Christmas So take me now What a Merry Christmas Tomorrow, I'll be there Where nothing can be bad It's Christmas every day I miss you anyway

[intro] this is a note to myself, i’ve been feeling so low i got this drink in a cup, cuz i’m going solo i’m fucking hazy yeah i’m crazy in a purple polo we ain’t in kansas anymore, yeah my name is toto [hook] play me poker, i’ll be flushing, you already know though doesn’t matter if you’re straight, dos mil dieciocho promise no strings attached like a broken yo-yo we ain’t in kansas anymore, yeah my name is toto [verse 1] promise you ain’t nothing better this an open letter, we’ll wear it like Hester the question of whether/weather a person be fresher but fresher is relative; bad way to measure; in rapping today it’s not who is more clever; it’s who got more treasure, in money, whatever it’s who’s bank is deader, who rich and who debtor they put in no effort i’m sick of this tether to flexers, i’m vomiting mama’s spaghetti all over my sweater, repenting my honesty all i remember is lyrical pleasure now lesser is better and nobody ever would give a shit about a brother tryna open up and tell the little motherfuckers i be on it way back, this is payback wish i didn’t say that cuz i’m laid back oh no, i need to sit down, need to sit down, yeah saw your bitch now, saw your bitch now, yeah fuckin lit now, fucking lit now, yeah suck a dick now, suck a dick now, [hook] play me poker, i’ll be flushing, you already know though doesn’t matter if you’re straight, dos mil dieciocho promise no strings attached like a broken yo-yo [verse 2] ain't no washed up Kohler ain't no Sace, Goyard Don't just tell me no like Stanford and Elena Soler sipping henney soda wake me when I'm sober thought you finished me? well you ain't even at the coda [hook] play me poker, i’ll be flushing, you already know though doesn’t matter if you’re straight, dos mil dieciocho promise no strings attached like a broken yo-yo [outro] i know you say that you’re happy but no one knows what is happening but you tell me what is the truth no one knows what is happening with you you always talk to yourself and ignore the people around you, it’s true so if you wanted to sell you know you’re a top brand but we need the truth [coda] it’s true i feel my voice fading away now, my dear don’t let me fade 26 years young don’t lie to me now you went too soon i’m sorry i’m home